(Wasteland Gazette - CPI):

Our repulsive and completely inept cadre of incompetents finally found a team even more 
accursed. Even then they had to go to OT to defeat the Darkspine Shadows because they 
couldn't pickup one open ball in regulation.  Only 18 thousand enslaved 'fans' survived the 
trek through the Wasteland to the Darkelves' home stadium (total for the game was reported 
as over 50K - though there were reports that the home team had filled entire sections with 
lifesized cardboard cutouts of fans, most were wearing paper sacks over their heads).  
  
The darkelfs got the kick, using the ol' double headed flippy coin trick and the game 
commenced.  Fielding a full roster for the first time since opening day, the goats were able to 
surround and clog up the dark elf cage.  Early season sensation, Beastman Nyetttt, knocked 
the ball loose and the rest of the half devolved into an onfield melee.  The forces of Chaos 
finally got stopped in typical fashion as a worthless goat couldn't handle the ball, given to 
him by a handsome and powerful bucket-headed Chaos Warrior.

 
The Knights took the 2nd half kick and pushed it upfield student body left.  Despite stiff 
darkelf resistance, which cumulated with the damned Witch-elf injuring Nyettt, a Chaos 
Warrior broke free and rushed in for the score.  The Darkelfs weren't finished though.  They 
started a sweep of their own, though they had initial success it looked grim for pointies as 
their Witch knocked herself to the turf leaving the ballcarrier exposed.  A beastman obliged 
by whacking the ball loose, but his pathetic teammate was unable to pick up the open ball.  
Then in typical elf fashion, the Dark elf assassin dodged in, got the ball in traffic, dodged out 
and sprinted for the open field.  The clayfooted chaos players couldn't catch him so the 
game was tied at the end of regulation.

 
The Knights won the toss in OT and got the ball on a touchback, there just wasn't enough 
Darkelfs left to put up much of a defense, and the Chaos team marched downfield for the 
win.

 
In the post-game press conference it was announced that contract talks had concluded with 
Lord Borak the Despoiler, and that he'd be able to join the team in time for next weeks 
matchup with league-leading Rainbow Brights.  The team celebrated by eating the 
remaining fans.

Roster Moves:
  Winnings: 70K.
  FF +1.
  Hired Lord Borak.

Injury Report:
  #8  Concussion
  
Commentary from da Coach:  Finally got off the goose-egg.  We'll see if this can turn the 
team around, the Mighty Mu'U got most of the SPPs with 2 cas and MVP, but I did get some 
other guys on the board and a 5pointer completed the first pass of the season.