SPORTS PAGES

Gentlewomen reveal Bad Habits, continue streaking over Dwarf

School Newspaper Exerpt:

Whilst one would assume that all would be well following an easy victory in the most difficult of 
athletic pastimes, such is not the case at Coote's Academy.  Prior to their second match, internal 
strife shook the team to its very foundation.
   "Our core philosophy remains unchanged; 'tutelage, temperance, teamwork'.  It appears our 
faculty has been remiss in adequate enforcement of this doctrine."  Commented Headmistress Coote in 
response to her team's off-pitch struggles.
   What appeared to be a friendly form of hazing, a not-so-gentle backhanded swipe across the 
forehead in response to any passing teammate's gaze, escalated into a full scale brawl at the 
conclusion of practice.  As a result, attention to game-time decisionmaking became secondary to 
intra-squad rivalry, resulting in an marked increase in the number of blunders.
   "Our girls are trained from day one to work together, or face the harsh mistress of 
consequence.  A sad byproduct of this may be an unconscious promotion of aggressive tendencies.  
While this is an advantage on the pitch, it is a detriment during times of idle speculation."
   Even more surprising was the departure of School Nurse and team Apothecary, Dr. Griffin, who 
presumably was given a better offer by a rival school.  The ever-verbose Miss Rosa Coote had this 
say on the matter:
  "He just disappeared.  Not that I would ever speak poorly of departing faculty, no matter how ill 
favored of hygiene, temperament, and mental faculties they may be, as was the case with our Mr. 
Griffin.  The doctor's decision is understandable.  The rumors that his examinations of our girls 
proceeded beyond what is accepted as proper was a burdon he could not endure.  Additionally, the 
violent reprisal that typifies wayward gentlewomen appear to have been the final straw, as the 
multiple contusions about his face and neck can attest."
  Despite the grim portents, the match went swimmingly, concluding with a 2-0 Gentlewomen win.  
This time dedicating their focus to the finesse game, casualties went against the fair scholars, in 
the form of a 1-3 injury deficit.  Although general consensus was that, lacking an apothecary, the 
result should have been much worse, reactions were mixed in regard to their adversaries:
    Said the resourceful Lady Pokingham, "While I must confess that there is something oddly 
compelling about men of extraordinarily diminunative stature, I found this lot to be most 
unappealing, and am well rid of them."
    Contrasting this opinion, Rebecca quipped, "They was regul'r gentleme.. uh.. dwarfs.  They 
seemed happy enough to lay down and let a lady pass on her way to the ball.  When it came to 
hittin' on ya, why, you could tell that they weren't givin' ya the full go.  Nice and gentle-like.  
An' ah think that short chap in the full face-mask took quite a shine to me, too."
    Following the match, the Academy found itself the unlikely beneficiary of national laws 
concerning condemned armed assailents of the feminine persuasion.  Reknowned slasher Cindy Lopper 
was offered a pardon and a half state-sponsored scholarship if accepted into the caring arms of 
Miss Coote's.  The headmistress herself admitted to wrestling with the decision:
    "While we had hoped to hire Dr. Griffin's replacement straightaway, the opportuntiy to 
rehabilitate a woman of such undeniable fury was too great a challenge to resist.  I'm certain the 
remainder of the season will prove my decision was the correct one."
     As the Gentlewomen seek to nurture their two game streak, the subsequent matches will indeed 
be their judge.

Recap and Sundry details:
  • no fan factor increase
  • +50,000 crowns. 30,000 of which fulfilled the remainder of Cindy Lopper's (Assassin) tuition and subsequent signing-on.
  • no lasting injuries were suffered
  • Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm increase her prowess in the realm of STRENGTH.
  • Lady Pokingham discovered previously unknown powers of AGILITY, and further, learned how to Block
  • Bad habits reduced reroll total to 2
  • Lost Apothecary due to Better Offer