SPORTS PAGES

Vestal Virgins Weep for Injured Elves, Decrying the Brutality of Bloodbowl

     The Theroid Thearchs learned the lesson that most High Elf teams try to avoid learning: Do not 
play a bashing game against a bashy teams like the White Meat Orc Chops.  The Thearchs tried to 
knock a hole through the Orc line only to meet one enraged Black Orc who quickly trashed the Elves 
star player and nearly killed another within the first two turns.  The Orc Chops surrounded the 
Elves and pummeled the ball free then ran the clock down.
     In the second half the Orcs muscled the massed Thearch ranks toward the eastern sideline.  
Almost gleefully, #13Riplimb set up a chain push that not only injured a Thearch blitzer, but also 
sent a line Elf into the crowd.  The crowd taught everyone that bricks, boards, and rebar may be 
used for more than building structures (Two casualties in one hit without Multi-Blow).  The Orc 
Chops coach was severely exercised when his team distracted themselves with a little game of Troll 
baiting.  Evidently some of the Orc players convinced their Troll that a line Elf was interested in 
him.  The whole team stopped playing to watch the amorous misadventures and left the Thearchs a 
clear line to the goal.  The High Elves MVP went to that player for the evasion skills he had to 
utilize to escape #7Mighty Thunker.